Mmmmm...Sacrilicious!

Communion wafers suck more moisture from your mouth than sin from your soul. The wine is little better, a bitter vinegary solution whose aftertaste is almost worse than total oral dehydration. But all that is behind us, now that we have Chocolate Deities!

The sacred heart of Jesus is available in dark, milk, and "white" chocolate (though it's a whole separate sin to call something without any actual cacao "chocolate"), or hand-painted.

Not a Christian? Not a problem! The pagan icon of your choice is also available in your choice of chocolates: Buddha, Krishna, and even Ixchel! Plus totem animals and trendy symbols, all beautifully molded and gorgeously giftwrapped; deliciously worthy of the deity whose name you moan as you consume it with sticky relish.

Chocolate is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Chocolate Deities is clearly proof that God likes chocolate and has a bitchin' sense of humor.