Call Me That Again And I'll Drown You in Organic Mineral Water Bottled At The Source

Shopping has been an unofficial religion since about the 80's, when we began to build massive temples to the gods of commerce, with large anchor shrines on the ends to the greater deities (with escalators!). I suppose it was only a matter of time, then, before Consumerism became an Official Religion, tying itself more obviously to psuedo-spirituality through the buzzword of the moment: Metrospiritual.

Leave it to the marketing vultures to cheapen the desire to put your money where your mouth is with a catchy fad term like "Metrospiritual". I'd feel caught, like a deer in the consumerist headlights, if I weren't already moving on.

The fact is, going to Whole Foods and shopping at Gaiam.com and all that is so early 2000's. Sure, they had their place back in the day in terms of creating awareness and giving us some choices in their well-lit aisles, and introducing concepts like "fair trade" and "sustainably harvested". But come on guys, you're behind the times - buying local is the new organic.

And besides, if there were a serious sea-change afoot, a pair of organic socks wouldn't set me back $20. Behind the white-light fad, Metrospirituality is about as progressive as a hybrid SUV.

To be fair, I should admit that I don't completely eschew the things Metrospirituality claims to represent. But these days I only go to Whole Foods & Trader Joe's for their amazing selection of cheeses and nuts and stuff I can't find anywhere else. The rest of the time I try to buy at local natural markets & farmer's markets. God knows, if there were a Co-Op in my area, I'd belong to it. For the rest, it's Freecycle, thrift stores and individual artists (and, well, um, *cough* Amazon...but come on, no one's that pure).

Guilty pleasures aside, I like that my clothes don't come coated in formaldehyde or the blood of 10 year olds making 35 cents a day somewhere in east Asia. I like that they're recycled, and that they're cheap. God knows I don't have $200 to spend on an organic sweater.

I like my CSA - their produce is unparalleled (especially the orgasmic heirloom tomatoes) and I feel good about supporting local organic farmers I actually know, not more overdevelopment in South Jersey, or fuel to fly my broccoli from California, or 500 corporate salaries and marketing at Whole Foods or any other corporation.

I like when my money goes to support small businesses in the local economy.

I like that when I buy art from my friend to give you for the Solstice-based holiday of your choice, you get something unique and treasured, and she gets to pay her rent.

Etcetera.

Yeah, ok, I'm self-congratulatingly tooting my own horn for staying ahead of the trend, but only to make a point to the marketing gurus behind the term "Metrospiritual": the choices I make are deeply personal and none of your profit-driven marketing business. My ethics are not for sale. My economy is based on real people living a decent life, not astronomical CEO salaries at the expense of the unskilled laborer. You have my word that I will make every effort to wriggle out from under your hypey buzzwords intended to make yuppies feel good about new-age shrouded gluttonous consumerism on the backs of poisoned sweatshop children, no matter how far you chase me. And maybe, if you chase me far enough, some ethics just might rub off on you. Here's hoping.