Score One For Pavlov

So much better than some time-wasting slot machine that only gives you a hit every few hundred dollars and meanwhile assaults your ears with soul-shattering blingy sounds. Far better than any drug that might leave you feeling strung-out and broke and craving more to the point that your integrity dissolves like an aspirin in warm water. Better even than good food, which is over all too soon and you can only have so much of before you can no longer walk out your front door. I might even say, better than sex, which is a far more cosmic and mind-blowing experience, but only lasts so long and, if done well, is exhausting and leaves you needing a refraction period before you can go back for more.

It's http://www.stumbledupon.com.

Hit the button, get your jolly (whether it's an "ooh", an "ew", an "oh!, a giggle, or even a "huh"), hit the button, get more. Hit it again. And again. And again. Oops, there went your work day. Oops, your evening. Oops, your week. Have you eaten? Peed? Slept? No matter. Just hit the button one more time first. This time you really mean it.

Ah, the Internet: here to make life more productive for all.

Nice Weather We're Having

Can you believe people are still saying there's no such thing as global warming?

Nevermind that there's snow in Hawaii, rain is finally coming to Arizona after a record dry streak (snow in Flagstaff), my mom reports that Chicago has been bizarrely warm, and here in New Jersey we're having such a warm winter that the bulbs are coming up and the buds on some of the spring shrubs are starting to pop. In January. This winter has been more like the Pacific Northwest than the Mid-Atlantic Northeast.

And of course, all those hurricaines.

And that's only in America. The rest of the world is seeing fluke weather, too. Overall, 2005 was the warmest year in 10,000 years.

But what do I know? Of course global warming is bullshit - just ask any oil company exec.

I guess what bothers me most is that there are people who are really enjoying this winter. When I bring up the fact that we need a long, hard freeze to kill off mosquito larvae, or that it seems likely that the backlash of this will be a sweltering summer, people just look at me funny and go, "huh, I never thought of that". How on earth did we get so divorced from nature?

And what, dare I ask, is it going to take to reunite us?